Procrastination

I've noticed that I am a really great procrastinator. I could go pro with it. It affects all aspects of my life. For instance, I leave my housework until I can't stand it anymore, and then go into a cleaning frenzy. I also put off reading my book for book club until the last few days, and then I have to cram-read to finish before we meet. I also don't call my mom for about a month, but then we end up in an hour (or more) long phone conversation. I hate planning dinner; at 5:00 I usually start thinking about it. Last night at 7:00 I had a Stake YW's meeting where we were supposed to bring some ideas to share, and guess what? I was typing them up at 6:55. I want to exercise regularly, but I usually end up only getting it done one or two days a week, so I feel like I have to punish myself and go farther to burn more calories.

Why, why, why do I do this to myself, and how do I stop it??? I want to be one of those self-disciplined people who plans things out, but I so hate rigidity, even though I know it would make my life less harried. I'm sure there's some kind of psychological explanation for why I am this way. I call it SIPS: Self-Induced Procrastination Syndrome, and I think the only cure is within myself, which really stinks. Can't they just invent a pill or something?

On another note, Danika got her driver's license on Wednesday. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. After the birth of my nephew, my brother-in-law said "having a baby is like winning the lottery and having a tornado hit your house on the same day." That's kind of how I feel right now about her turning 16. Watch out world!

Catching Up is Hard to Do

I don't know why I don't like to post something unless I have a picture to go along with it. It's weird. It's kind of like when you feel like you can't go visiting teaching or find out how a sick friend is doing without something to take them. There's something messed up with thinking, "I don't have a casserole to take so-and-so, so I just won't go." Why do we do that? I still haven't figured that out. Maybe it is that we don't think we are "enough" all on our own--like we have to compensate for our lack of whatever it is we feel we're lacking. I don't know, but that mentality seems to carry over into a lot of other aspects of my life. Like blogging, for instance. Part of it is that I know most people don't read things all the way through. They need a little carrot dangled out in front of their noses to prod them to read on.

The past 2 weeks have been busy at our house. Every night last week Danika and Brooke had rehearsals for their ballet in Bountiful. I am really wondering why I ever thought taking dance for 3 hours twice a week in a city 15 miles away was a good idea. It sounds manageable until it comes time for the actual dance performances. Then there are four days of rehearsals and 3 performances (one for each cast--of which they are in all 3). Nevertheless, they did wonderfully, and it was fun seeing them perform. Their studio did Swan Lake; Danika was a Spanish dancer and Brooke was one of the princesses. Now they have one more performance for their jazz and creative classes at the end of April. We have already decided to find a studio closer to home for next year. Hallelujah!

Mike had back surgery this past Tuesday (the 16th). Everything went well, and Dr. Daubs cleaned out a lot of his disc and bone that was pressing on a nerve. So we are hopeful he will have some relief from the pain down his leg that has been bothering him. Eventually Mike will have to have a fusion in that area, but he is trying to hold off as long as possible.

Megan got glasses last Saturday. I was hoping she wouldn't have to, since Danika and Brooke got theirs in 2nd grade and Megan is in 4th now. I thought maybe she had been passed by unscathed by my nearsightedness gene. But alas, no such luck. She is now one of the bespectacled females in our cursed household. (We are now rooting for no braces for her.)


I almost forgot to add that Megan had strep last Monday and Tuesday, but with antibiotics cleared up quickly and was back to school. And, Brooke had power chains put on her braces Thursday and had a few days of discomfort and nights with lack of sleep. Headgear is next on the horizon for her--oh joy!

Spring is in the air, and we are all looking forward to the end of the school year. It's still two and a half months away, but I can't wait to be done with work and kids waking up early for school!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

While I was waiting to get my hair cut yesterday, I was flipping through the January issue of Good Housekeeping and something--or someone--caught my eye: Matthew McConaughey. Just a little picture of him on a page entitled "Best Relationship Advice." My interest was piqued. Matt's easy on the eyes, no doubt, but what kind of "wisdom" could this seeming playboy impart to me about relationships? Did he really have anything worthwhile to say? I read on, and here is what he said:

"Sometimes when a woman falls for a guy, she [asks him to change], and he changes so much that she loses her Huck Finn, the rascal in the man she fell in love with. Men are willing to change to make you happy -- but don't completely take the boy out of the man. You're gonna miss him."

I sat back. Hmmm.

I think there is a lot of truth to that statement. And I think it's an especially valid perspective coming from a man--a very cute man who has women dropping at his feet. I thought, "So this is what a man who could have practically any woman really wants." Sure, it's what all men want--freedom! But the essence of McConaughey's statement is not "let us have free reign," but rather "we will do anything for a woman who adores our inner boy." That is powerful knowledge.

Most of the time we women complain and/or roll our eyes when accosted with tales of our husband's most recent boyish antics (me included). Most of the time we want our guy to settle down and be mature. We domesticate them so much that the boy we fell in love with is completely erased. I mean. . . I'm predictable, and part of what attracted me to Mike waaay back in high school was that he was what I wasn't. At least to me it seemed like he was adventurous, fearless, capricious, spontaneous--in a good way, not a self-destructive way.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't want to be married to boring me, so why do I insist that he "be careful," "slow down," and "stay home?" That's my role. There definitely needs to be a balance in married life, but if my guy needs to let his hair down sometimes (no bald joke intended), why do I need to make him feel guilty about it? Why do women make men "pay" for going and having some fun? Lest I be misunderstood, I am not a proponent of fun that involves hanging out at the local strip joint or gambling in a smokey barroom into the wee hours of the morning whilst shirking familial duties; what I am promoting is wholesome outdoorsy sports, working out, motocross races, football games, whitewater rafting, rock climbing, dipnet salmon fishing, riding a Harley--whatever floats his boat. Let's face it, a lot of men are adrenaline junkies. And often, whether we want to admit it, that's what makes us twitterpated. (I can't believe I'm actually writing this--my inner feminist is attempting to claw my eyes out this very moment).

So here's my challenge to all my married women friends: This Valentine's Day if you want to give your guy a great gift, let him go out and be Huck Finn. No strings attached. Don't corner him into a nice dinner at a stuffy restaurant, or guilt him into bringing you roses or buying you chocolates or jewelry. Better yet, offer to go with him on a recreational activity of his choosing (stipulation: not sex). I've read that spending recreational time with his wife is one of the top five basic male needs (His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley, Jr.). For me it's much easier just to let him go with a friend, but I know that he appreciates it when I give up my agenda to just go play together. It doesn't happen very often, and most of the time I complain the entire time, so I know I have a long way to go in this area. But I'm vowing today to allow the little boy to surface once in a while, without reprimand or restraint.


What think ye, ladies? Are you game?

Choose Faith!

My very astute friend Bethany emailed me this in response to my last post. I love it so much I am sharing it with the rest of you. It is from a devotional given by Gregory Clark, associate dean of the BYU College of Humanities, on 6 May 2008.

"What, exactly, does it take—day by day, hour by hour—to choose faith over fear?"

"My youngest daughter and newest son-in-law are patiently therapeutic in their approach to my fearfulness. For my birthday last year they copied in calligraphy a quote from President Hinckley and framed it for my office. It hangs above my desk. This is what it says: “It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry.” I read that every day. Multiple times."

"These are the first three sentences of a statement President Hinckley included in his wife’s funeral program on a day that must have been one of the hardest of this good man’s life. Here is the full statement: 'It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. . . . Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. . . . If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.' [Gordon B. Hinckley, quoted in Latter-day Counsel, “Excerpts from Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, October 2000, 73; see also “Put Your Trust in God,” Ensign, February 2006, 63]"

"I think this is the answer to my question about how to go about the constant project of choosing faith. This is what faith looks like in daily practice. And if President Hinckley needed to remind himself daily to choose faith over fear, then I should probably be reminding myself even more often."

You can read the whole talk here.

Thanks Bee!