Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Dreaded "F word"
I read a blog post at "Beginnings New" today that revisited a topic that used to cause me a lot of concern and frustration. It has to do with some young women who consider themselves feminists and are struggling with the concept of the Priesthood.
This is still a very compelling issue for our young women today. I think LDS women have an even harder battle than women outside the church when it comes to feminism because of the added spiritual component. It's not just about equality in the workforce or home, but we have issue of the patriarchal order & the Priesthood.
I went through my own crisis of faith over this very thing. When I went to college (at BYU, of all places to have a crisis of faith!) I took many classes taught by both LDS and non-LDS feminist professors. While I loved what I was learning and how it made me feel empowered, I couldn't reconcile my sense of injustice toward women with my religious beliefs. Most of those teachers were fired or not given tenure and left BYU to teach elsewhere. I felt like the university administration was on a "witch hunt" so to speak to suppress any teaching that might threaten Church doctrine. So I graduated with a really bad taste in my mouth for the patriarchal church government system.
One blogger posted this response, which I thought was an excellent perspective. "Mommie Dearest" said...
"I've wondered why only one gender is ordained to the priesthood. I found it comforting that the Lord does not require women to be ordained in order to receive salvation, or temple blessings. I've also found comfort in the small ways that women serve at priesthood-like duties in the temple. I take it as evidence that the Lord doesn't have a grudge against our whole gender."
"I really took a giant step in my understanding of the priesthood (at least as it is here on earth) from an excellent reading in Sunday School (of all places!) of the oath and covenant of the priesthood in D&C 84. I felt it in my solar plexus when told by our teacher that everything in that scripture applies equally to both men and women, and that women need not think that they are exempt from meeting the requirements as receivers of the covenant, nor are they not as fully blessed by what the Lord promises in return just because they are not ordained to be the administrators at this time on the earth."
"I've come to view that the priesthood is given to us by the Lord kind of like a feast, that all who are willing to prepare themselves are invited to partake of equally, and for his own reasons that aren't revealed, the Lord has designated that only men serve in the capacity of wait staff. They can't really even serve this feast to themselves when they are acting as waiters, but in order to partake of the feast they have to be recipients at the feast alongside women. Sometimes I think we all get a little overly focused on how wonderful and blessed it is to be a waiter at the Lord's feast and forget that the focus is more correctly on the nourishment (blessings) we all receive from partaking. The amazing thing is that the Lord has condescended to give us all these priesthood blessings in what otherwise would be a bleak world of malnutrition."
I love the feast analogy! The wait staff doesn't get any special privileges or extra servings. They have to sit down with the rest of us to enjoy the nourishment. I really love that!
Another blogger referenced a 1985 talk by Gordon B. Hinckley that offered some great insight into our roles & privileges as women. I appreciate these words:
"Do not worry away your lives with concerns over “rights,” so-called, but move forward, concerned with responsibilities and opportunities. . . . Go forward with confidence in the knowledge that the differences you face are not those which come of discrimination so much as those which come of designation."
Like it or not, women and men have different, designated roles. Not that one can't do the other, but there is a God-given order, and frankly I don't want to do both! Of course, this answer doesn't usually cut it with feminist-thinkers. It didn't cut it with me back when I was younger.
Over the years, after becoming a wife and mother, I have come to peace with the Priesthood and how it is administered. It has been a personal, spiritual journey, and none of the "answers" I heard at church helped me reach this peace. It was through prayer, temple worship, living the gospel and obedience that brought me to this place. Any of the "Sunday school" answers are not going to ring true to a girl with these questions. Our limited mortal understanding simply cannot know what Heavenly Father knows, and why things are the way they are. Young women need to understand that it takes time, desire, diligence, and real intent to seek for their answer (and trust--thanks Bee).
One book that helped me was "Who Stole Feminism?" It is a book that looks at how the feminist movement was started to promote women's suffrage, but evolved into something bigger. It isn't a book that got very good reviews, and I'm sure that most feminists would mock it. It distinguishes between "equity feminists," who celebrate women's achievements and want partnership with men, and "gender feminists" who are simply anti-male and suspicious of everything they do. They want everything perfectly meted out between men and women. I came to the realization that a partnership between men and women has to be one of give and take--concessions and adjustments. I saw which side of the line I was on and wanted to change my thinking.
I think it's very hard for a die-hard gender feminist to be 100% active in the church. There are many hurdles that are just too hard to get over when looking at the church through those lenses. I'm hopeful that any young woman who struggles with these issues will truly seek for understanding rather than throwing in the towel because it's too hard. It all depends on the intent of those young women's hearts. If they truly want to understand, they won't give up trying. If they don't, they will most likely use it as an excuse to leave the church.
I still consider myself a feminist--although a "reformed" one. I've come to hate the dreaded "F word" (Feminist) because it has a negative connotation. I don't want people to think I'm a militant bra burner. I wish someone would coin a word that means "conservative Mormon seeker of separate but equal male/female relationships." Let me know if you come up with something.
This is still a very compelling issue for our young women today. I think LDS women have an even harder battle than women outside the church when it comes to feminism because of the added spiritual component. It's not just about equality in the workforce or home, but we have issue of the patriarchal order & the Priesthood.
I went through my own crisis of faith over this very thing. When I went to college (at BYU, of all places to have a crisis of faith!) I took many classes taught by both LDS and non-LDS feminist professors. While I loved what I was learning and how it made me feel empowered, I couldn't reconcile my sense of injustice toward women with my religious beliefs. Most of those teachers were fired or not given tenure and left BYU to teach elsewhere. I felt like the university administration was on a "witch hunt" so to speak to suppress any teaching that might threaten Church doctrine. So I graduated with a really bad taste in my mouth for the patriarchal church government system.
One blogger posted this response, which I thought was an excellent perspective. "Mommie Dearest" said...
"I've wondered why only one gender is ordained to the priesthood. I found it comforting that the Lord does not require women to be ordained in order to receive salvation, or temple blessings. I've also found comfort in the small ways that women serve at priesthood-like duties in the temple. I take it as evidence that the Lord doesn't have a grudge against our whole gender."
"I really took a giant step in my understanding of the priesthood (at least as it is here on earth) from an excellent reading in Sunday School (of all places!) of the oath and covenant of the priesthood in D&C 84. I felt it in my solar plexus when told by our teacher that everything in that scripture applies equally to both men and women, and that women need not think that they are exempt from meeting the requirements as receivers of the covenant, nor are they not as fully blessed by what the Lord promises in return just because they are not ordained to be the administrators at this time on the earth."
"I've come to view that the priesthood is given to us by the Lord kind of like a feast, that all who are willing to prepare themselves are invited to partake of equally, and for his own reasons that aren't revealed, the Lord has designated that only men serve in the capacity of wait staff. They can't really even serve this feast to themselves when they are acting as waiters, but in order to partake of the feast they have to be recipients at the feast alongside women. Sometimes I think we all get a little overly focused on how wonderful and blessed it is to be a waiter at the Lord's feast and forget that the focus is more correctly on the nourishment (blessings) we all receive from partaking. The amazing thing is that the Lord has condescended to give us all these priesthood blessings in what otherwise would be a bleak world of malnutrition."
I love the feast analogy! The wait staff doesn't get any special privileges or extra servings. They have to sit down with the rest of us to enjoy the nourishment. I really love that!
Another blogger referenced a 1985 talk by Gordon B. Hinckley that offered some great insight into our roles & privileges as women. I appreciate these words:
"Do not worry away your lives with concerns over “rights,” so-called, but move forward, concerned with responsibilities and opportunities. . . . Go forward with confidence in the knowledge that the differences you face are not those which come of discrimination so much as those which come of designation."
Like it or not, women and men have different, designated roles. Not that one can't do the other, but there is a God-given order, and frankly I don't want to do both! Of course, this answer doesn't usually cut it with feminist-thinkers. It didn't cut it with me back when I was younger.
Over the years, after becoming a wife and mother, I have come to peace with the Priesthood and how it is administered. It has been a personal, spiritual journey, and none of the "answers" I heard at church helped me reach this peace. It was through prayer, temple worship, living the gospel and obedience that brought me to this place. Any of the "Sunday school" answers are not going to ring true to a girl with these questions. Our limited mortal understanding simply cannot know what Heavenly Father knows, and why things are the way they are. Young women need to understand that it takes time, desire, diligence, and real intent to seek for their answer (and trust--thanks Bee).
One book that helped me was "Who Stole Feminism?" It is a book that looks at how the feminist movement was started to promote women's suffrage, but evolved into something bigger. It isn't a book that got very good reviews, and I'm sure that most feminists would mock it. It distinguishes between "equity feminists," who celebrate women's achievements and want partnership with men, and "gender feminists" who are simply anti-male and suspicious of everything they do. They want everything perfectly meted out between men and women. I came to the realization that a partnership between men and women has to be one of give and take--concessions and adjustments. I saw which side of the line I was on and wanted to change my thinking.
I think it's very hard for a die-hard gender feminist to be 100% active in the church. There are many hurdles that are just too hard to get over when looking at the church through those lenses. I'm hopeful that any young woman who struggles with these issues will truly seek for understanding rather than throwing in the towel because it's too hard. It all depends on the intent of those young women's hearts. If they truly want to understand, they won't give up trying. If they don't, they will most likely use it as an excuse to leave the church.
I still consider myself a feminist--although a "reformed" one. I've come to hate the dreaded "F word" (Feminist) because it has a negative connotation. I don't want people to think I'm a militant bra burner. I wish someone would coin a word that means "conservative Mormon seeker of separate but equal male/female relationships." Let me know if you come up with something.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Movin' On Up
Here is our new lot. Right now it's just a huge weed patch and an enormous pile of dirt, but I love the view out the back. That is our Stake Center and where we will go to church (behind the fence on the right). We submitted our plans to the city today, so hopefully we can start digging our foundation before the end of June--exciting!
I hadn't realized it, but today after Mike got home he pointed out that maybe it was "meant to be" for us to get this lot because the address is 568 . . . Mike's birthday (5/68). Our last address on Cooper St. was 1918, the year both my dad and Mike's grandpa were born. Maybe it's nothing, but it's fun to think about!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Right of Passage
This post is of a very personal nature, and I hesitate putting it "out there" in cyber space. However, I know any woman over 18 who has been to the gynecologist, had a baby, or experienced any of the varied, tortuous, humiliating, necessary evils of routine women's medical care can relate.
Since I'm 40 now, I had the non-pleasure of having my very first mammogram today.
This is all I have to say:
Since I'm 40 now, I had the non-pleasure of having my very first mammogram today.
This is all I have to say:
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